what GUYS need to know RIGHT NOW
Quick Hits
GUYISM SPEED ROUND
BEST OF THE WEB[it may be out there, but you found it here]
Guyism Originals
See Em AllThe Red Wedding Crashers
60-second tribute to post-sex moments in movies
The 999 Challenge: Nine Beers, Nine Hot Dogs, Nine Innings
Community Awards
Most Enraging
- #2
Worst woman in the world steals boy's home run ball, throws it on field
- #3
This is a guy setting a record for most bowling strikes in a minute
Guyism Now
Style
What to wear for any wedding you’ll ever attend
Every man reaches that time in his life (usually his late 20's) when all of his friends seem to be getting married. Depending on where the friend is now living, who they're marrying, and their budget, a variety of wedding scenarios can get thrown your way. Here is a look at 7 possible scenarios and
Humor
Adult film star says she ‘ruined porn’ for her dad
A lot of dads might be angry if their daughter went into porn — and so is the father of top adult actress Stoya. But not for the reason you think.
Sports
Aaron Hernandez questioned by police in homicide investigation
Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was questioned by police in a homicide investigation. Hernandez does not appear to be a suspect but police have searched his home and last night emerged with a mysterious box, the contents of which are unknown.
Celebs
Shakira says she considered getting a boob job
Shakira, now of The Voice fame, says that not too long ago she considered getting a boob job as well as other plastic surgery.
Alcohol
Infographic: The awesome history of bourbon
Bourbon is America’s spirit, but it hasn’t been an easy road for the only good thing to come out of Kentucky besides chicken. This infographic illustrates the journey from Evan Williams’ first distillery to the bourbon bounty we have today.
Humor
Bear scales a tree right next to a guy, probably induces pants crapping
Just when you think you’ve gotten enough space from a bear, then you remember bears can climb trees and he saunters up next to you. Pants. Shat.
Food
How to make Jägermeister Chicken Tacos
Cooking with booze is nothing new, but rarely does collegiately popular Jäger come to mind when thinking of ingredients. This Jägermeister Chicken Tacos recipe isn’t just a novelty act though. They are genuinely delicious.
Humor
Guy talks sh-t on the bus, receives world’s worst beatdown
Some pudgy dude decided to mouth off and then received a bad beatdown in response. When I say bad, I mean comically bad, not violently bad. No winners here, folks.
Humor
What’s winning the Internet today (06.19.13)
Since we here at Guyism pretty much live on the Internet we run across an awful lot of good things each day. These are some of the funniest, sexiest, most entertaining things we’ve seen so far today.
Humor
Woman is unable to stop falling while walking during graduation
Walking in your graduation can be a nerve-wracking experience, I’m sure. So for some reason, this lady completely forgot how to walk.
Celebs
Rihanna hit a fan in the head with her microphone
Rihanna was performing at a concert Monday when a fan got a little too grabby and wouldn’t let go of the singer. So Rihanna rapped her on the head with her microphone (which of course was caught on video).
Sports
107 Twitter accounts were made for LeBron James’ headband
Let me start by saying that Twitter is a great place, a wonderful social medium to share breaking news, photos, videos, GIFs and random thoughts. It's also home to the parody account which, frankly, is the abyss of the internet, the black hole of comedy.
Humor
John McAfee answers how to uninstall McAfee Antivirus
For years, society has been plagued by questions of how to uninstall McAfee Antivirus. Former McAfee boss John McAfee took time away from his bizarre murder situation to answer it.
Food
Poisons you didn’t know you were eating
For instance, did you know that some of that “extra fiber” you are getting is coming in the form of sawdust?
Humor
Replacing Katie – Part two of our quest to find a new Speed Round host
The second part of Guyism’s search to find a new host for the Speed Round is on display for all to see. Watch and tell us who you like.
Food
Furious Pete devours Wendy’s 9 patty ‘T-Rex Burger’
Wendy’s T-Rex Burger is the stuff of legend. The 9-patty meal is fit for dinosaurs alone, but Furious Pete made eating one look easier than me putting down a couple Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers. And yes, he had fries with that.
Humor
Drunk guy attacks flight captain before flight
Something tells me this drunk dude was not able to get on his plane after he attacks a flight captain in the terminal for seemingly no good reason. Skip to 1:45 for action.
Movies
‘Anchorman 2′ trailer: Ron Burgundy’s Journey to the 80s
Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team say, “Go f*ck yourself, San Diego,” in the new Anchorman 2 trailer. They’ve got bigger whale’s vagina to fry now that it’s the 80s.
Sports
Pimp slap dunks, Euro Steps and shoe throwing at Dubya: Best moments from Game 6
Game 6 of the Heat-Spurs series may go down as one of the best playoff games of the last quarter century. It fulfilled every possible ingredient for a classic—great defensive plays, miracle shots, controversial officiating and a pimp slap dunk.
Celebs
Meet Melanie Denholme, British Scream Queen
Melanie Denholme, for those unfamiliar, is one of the UK’s leading new scream queens. And you know how we love us some scream queens.
Sports
9 sports you can play while drunk
Playing sports is a lot of fun. So is drinking. Usually, those two activities aren’t mixed.
Sports
Mike Miller threw his shoe at George W. Bush and WHAT?
Mike Miller lost his shoe during play and the next thing you know he’s throwing it at Dubya. Wait, what?
Sports
Halftime of Game 6 featured a boob grab photobomb
In the midst of Bill Simmons breaking down the first half and Magic talking nonsensically, a Heat fan was getting her boobs grabbed.
Humor
GIFterpiece Theatre: Important Miss Utah update and more Kelly Brook
Our very own Katie Nolan scared of a little bitty mouse headlines tonight’s GIFs.
Humor
The Prancercise lady is the star of John Mayer’s music video
John Mayer is cool, you guys. He reads the Internet just like us. But how do we know! Here’s how: He’s got the Prancercise chick in his new video for song “Paper Dolls”. One of us. One of us.
Alcohol
Stone Farking Wheaton w00tstout bottles look amazing
w00tstout is Stone Brewing Co’s latest collaboration is with Drew Curtis and Wil Wheaton. The first images of Stone Farking Wheaton w00tstout bottles, illustrated by brilliant cartoonist Joel Watson of Hijinks Ensue, look amazing.
Humor
Must See Imagery: 50 funny pics to brighten your Tuesday
In today’s Must See Imagery we have some hilarious demotivational posters, gorgeous women, perfectly timed photos, and more!
Food
Internal slang terms for pizza are not pretty
Have you ever wanted to have a PMS Pizza or a Bondage Pie? You might not think so, but you probably have. Some of the slang used by pizza preppers is less than desirable, which is why they tend to keep it in the kitchen.
TV
What to watch tonight: Season 4 finale of ‘The Voice’, NBA Finals
Are we crowning a champion tonight or will the Heat push it to 7 games? Before you make your decision just know that the NBA sent Joey Crawford to ref. Here’s what you need to watch tonight.
Sports
Fifth grader gives magnificent graduation speech about his love for the Dodgers
Yes, there are elementary school graduations and yes, they’re ridiculous. This fifth grader played along with the absurdity of the event by telling everyone how much he loves the Dodgers. The speech is tremendous.
Alcohol
OnTap Liquid Beer Enhancer taste tests
We have two OnTap Liquid Beer Enhancer reviews, and the findings involve phrases like “it tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher,” and “it tastes like something I want to pour down the sink.”
Humor
Guyism Speed Round for June 18
In today’s Guyism Speed Round, Katie Nolan discusses a female masturbation app, has a surprise visit from a special guest, and more!
Humor
Dad charged at sports bar for ‘f-cking needy kids’
If there’s one way to piss off parents across the US, it’s leaving a charge on a sports bar’s receipt that says “f-cking needy kids.”
Sports
This is how the Mets lost a no-hitter
Matt Harvey took a no-hitter into the 7th inning when Jason Heyward came up to bat. What followed was the stuff of Mets legend.
Food
‘Hot Dog’ to get official definition in California
Hot Dogs get a bad wrap. People love to quote facts about the amount of pig balls, percentage of insect, and number of bandaids allowable in the meat sticks. California’s proposed legal definition of “hot dog” could put a stop to that.
Humor
msnNOW.com: Professor quits because students leave used condoms on his lawn
Dr. Mark Waymack is leaving his job at prestigious Northwestern University after students repeatedly left used condoms on his lawn.
TV
John Oliver plays peekaboo with Sarah Palin
John Oliver has been excellent filling in for John Stewart thus far, which is a testament to his likability and the excellent Daily Show writers. Last night they introduced a new segment titled, “Wait a second, we can just ignore her.”
Sports
Justin Verlander bought his brother a Range Rover for getting drafted
Justin Verlander’s brother, Ben, was drafted last week by the Detroit Tigers in the 14th round. Today big brother presented him with a Range Rover because RICH PEOPLE.
Celebs
Kelly Brook GIFs – The Guyism Animated GIFs Anthology
You may remember Kelly Brook from great films like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and Piranha 3D. You may also remember her from those topless pics that appeared on the web yesterday. You will surely remember her after seeing this GIF anthology.
Humor
This guy will teach you how to completely fail at car drifting
Drifting your car is not as easy as Fast and Furious movies starring Li’l Bow Wow may have made it seem. This guy and his horrendous drift into failure are a perfect example.