Just when you thought you’d heard the last of the mysterious pepper spray bandit at the Miss Universe pageant in Puerto Rico, some more nonsense is coming out.

The mystery surrounding the alleged pepper spraying of Puerto Rico’s 2008 Miss Universe contestant’s belongings is nothing to sneeze at.

Police are now said to be investigating just how Ingrid Marie Rivera was able to stop crying between camera appearances at Saturday’s pageant, if indeed her gown and makeup had been sabotaged with the spray, as she asserts, NBC News reports…

But once off-camera, she was forced to shed her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which twice swelled and broke out in hives, the Associated Press reports.

“We thought at first it was an allergic reaction, or maybe nerves,” said pageant spokesman Harold Rosario. “But the second time, we knew it couldn’t have been a coincidence.” Later, Rivera’s garments and cosmetics tested positive for pepper spray.

So I’m going to revise my opinion on this. I think she just sprinkled pepper all over herself since she’s dating a gentleman with a spice fetish. Then, after realizing that the pepper wouldn’t leave her skin, she realized that this was a unique opportunity to turn herself into an international celebrity due to her triumph in the face of adversity. So she also called in the bomb threat at the pageant, through some tabasco sauce in her make-up for a little more kick and then sat back and waited for more glorious attention.

Ideally, this would be the point where I rip off her face and reveal that she’s actually Farmer Mantequilla, the disgruntled former pageant judge, but unfortunately, the last time I had a detective’s intuition like this, all that happened was me getting hit with charges for first degree face-rippery. Needless to say, any faces I rip off in the future will have to be double-checked against the thoughts of my spiritual advisor, Columbo.