In one year’s time, UM poached basketball coach John Beilein and football coach Rich Rodriguez from West Virginia. In an attempt to re-energize the fanbase after such a disastrous course of events, WVU has finally responded.

“They hit us where it hurts, we hit them right back. You take our coaches, we take yours. How do you like them apples University of Michigan”

~West Virginia President Mike Garrison

Mike Garrison of course is referring to the hiring of a new Women’s Gymnastics coach and Women’s Rowing coach. Both taken from UM. Its a move that suprised many inside Schembechler Hall. Some are irate at the loss of these two high-profile coaches.

“It’s a tough loss for our University. We put a lot of emphasis on those programs. Even though they don’t generate any money or interest and frankly, nobody even knows those programs exist without looking it up on our website, it’s a tough loss.”

~UM President Mary Sue Coleman

“F$%# you Coach Plocki. You werent a Meeeechigan woman anyways”

~Anonymous 4′7″ UM Gymnast

Inside sources have also said that West Virginia is now making a play to get into the BigTen conference. The move would make sense for two reasons.

1) Geographic Location

2) The rivalry that now exists between WVU and UM would supplant the old rivalry between UM and OSU.

“Is it really a rivaly anymore?. I’ve beaten them so many times that I dont even think about it. They’re like our little brother. I would support the WVU move.”

~OSU football coach Jim Tressel

BigTen Commissioner Jim Delaney, who was at a fundraiser for Comcast competitor DirecTv, could not be reached for comment.