This drugslut is my hero. Unfortunately, there’s no good pics of her. Anything I can say up here would only sully the beauty of the story quoted below, so just read.

A special-education aide at Highlands Senior High School resigned under pressure yesterday and faces possible drug and corruption of minors charges for a hotel party involving high school teenagers.

New Kensington police said they found suspected crack cocaine, empty beer cans and used condoms in a room that Abbiejane Swogger, 34, of Harrison, shared with minors Thursday night at New Kensington’s Clarion Hotel. The room contained drug paraphernalia and a marijuana odor when officers arrived just before noon on Friday to follow up on reports of missing teens, said Detective Dennis Marsili.

The one-time exotic dancer worked since September for the school district at a job paying minimum wage or slightly above. At the time Ms. Swogger was hired, the school district had no drug-testing policy for employees at her level, Dr. Galcik said. The school board later expanded its policy to require such testing in January for new employees, she said.

Ms. Swogger says she rented a hotel room to socialize and drink beer with adult acquaintances, but teenage friends of her son showed up and refused to leave. She maintained yesterday that she knew nothing about drugs in the room and did not give the teens any beer.

“I think if they drank, I would have known about it,” she said, adding that she unsuccessfully urged the two girls to leave.

Ms. Swogger also said she did not have sex with any of the young people present. They may have had sex with one another, she said, but did so “discreetly.”

I don’t know of any time in which you put teens, drugs, alcohol, and strippers in a hotel room that something bad won’t happen. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to pull a worse combination of items out of the Bad Ideas Mix-up Box. Perhaps the only way it’d be worse is if you inserted “sodomy” and “guns”. Or inserted guns into sodomy. That’d be the holy triumverate of dangerous, sexy, and an awful awful idea that would undoubtedly end with a bullet in someone’s prostate.

What was I saying? Oh yeah…this chick is kind of ugly though. So I probably totally ruined it with her pic. Sorry yo.