I’ve only cried 2 times in my life. And both times involved getting kicked in the balls. Sadly, upon hearing the news of Jessica Alba’s nuptials, a tear fell down my face. A damn shame I tell ya. First he knocks her up, then he marries her.

So, as a testimony to a time when she was once the hottest woman on the planet, Watermelon Wednesday is sponsored by the one and only, Jessica Alba.

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