You know what’s a sign that you should probably change your doctor? When he leaves a towel inside you that you don’t find until 25 years later because you think you have a tumor.

DOCTORS in Japan who carried out surgery on a man to remove a tumour had good news and bad news for him.

The good news was he did not have cancer.

The bad news: The growth that had been causing him pain was in fact a 25-year-old surgical towel.

The patient had been carrying the cloth since 1983, when surgeons left it in him after a minor operation to treat an ulcer, a spokesman for the hospital said.

“The towel was greenish blue although we are not sure about its original colour,” the Asahi General Hospital spokesman said, adding it had been crumpled to the size of a softball

OH, so the towel was greenish BLUE. Well that certainly helps clear everything up. If it were a greenish red, I’d just be perplexed.

I really don’t have anything comparable to relate back to. Like when I was little, my pediatrician left his finger in my ass a little too long. And his wrist watch. A painful reminder of why you shouldn’t go to a doctor whose office is based out of an old VW van and whose idea of accepting your health plan involves something called spacedocking. Live and learn, I guess!