Guyism

I AM NO TONY GONZALEZ

More from A. Isaac

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Word has leaked that Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez saved a man’s life by performing the Heimlich.(Forget the fact, that not a single other person in the restaurant actually knew this procedure but Tony. Didn’t we all learn the Heimlich in fifth grade?)

As it turns out the man was a Chargers fan, a division rival of the Chiefs.

I’m sure Gonzalez wasn’t thinking about this before he saved the dude’s life but in hindsight, I’m sure he now regrets it.

So I asked myself, in this situation WWID? (What Would Isaac Do?)…….

Hmmm???


As the person began to choke, I would observe his clothing…

If there are any Celtics, Bulls, Indians, Cavs, White Sox, Red Sox, or Yankees T-Shirts, I simply walk away

If there are any jerseys whatsoever containing Michael Jordan, Grady Sizemore, Brian Urlacher or Brett Favre, I punch them in the gut

As they pass out and fall to the floor, I would….

Ask them to blink once if they were willing to switch their allegiance to a Detroit squad, blink twice if they still wanted to be stubborn

As they convulsed and flopped around like a fish, I would

Do my best to restrain them and then try and slip on a Rip Hamilton jersey.

As they laid their dead from asphyxiation, I would…

Laugh and then taunt them and call them a pussy for dying

That’s how Isaac treats his rivals…..

  • Lydia
    July 8, 2008
    #1

    you forgot the lakers

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