1. Don’t eat a fiber one granola bar before you sleep

2. Just because the label on the yogurt container says strawberry, it doesn’t always mean it will end up tasting like strawberries

3. Knock your wood down before you jump in the shower. You don’t want to accidentally slam that thing against the tile.

4. Generally, farts in the shower have a more pungent aroma than those outside

5. Don’t try to drink coffee while texting somebody when you’re driving. Not only will you look like an idiot but you’ll walk around with a coffee stain on your nuts the whole day

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This message was brought to you by a bloated and coffee stained Guyism