There are certain things you just can’t do, no matter how curious you are (even if you’re as curious as a cat or a monkey owned by some sort of gentleman with a disposition towards yellow outfits). Top of the list: Trying to cook food on the head of a guy getting defibrillated for his heart attack.

An ambulance man placed a prawn on the chin of a patient awaiting electric shock treatment for a heart attack and joked: ‘Let’s see if we can cook this prawn,’ a medical panel has been told.

While paramedics prepared to use a defibrillator, ambulance technician John Jones allegedly took a prawn from a colander in the patient’s sink and asked: ‘Does anybody want a prawn?’

After the electric shock had been given, Mr Jones is reported to have said: ‘360 joules won’t cook a prawn.’

The allegation by paramedic Darren Claydon comes days after he told the same hearing how a fellow paramedic – called Clive Greedy – had munched on celery while taking part in efforts to resuscitate the same dying patient.

The story tells more about how both men were let go, but it leaves one question unanswered: Did the prawn cook? Because I need to know. If this man is going to make the sacrifice of his livelihood and humanity to try this, don’t we deserve to learn about his findings?

And yeah, whatever, in America this is messed up, but in the UK, it’s just dry British humour (with a U!). The guy eating celery had the last name “Greedy” for God’s sake. This was probably just a gag situation on the British version of Grey’s Anatomy or something.