Check me on this, because I am pretty sure I am right here, but didn’t Jessica Alba just squeeze out a baby? Because if she did, all I have to say is, damn…

Bitch, don’t you know that you aren’t supposed to snap back like that? A bikini?! It’s only been four months! Damn… Does the Ewok have magic sperm or something? Is that why she married his sorry-looking ass?

UPDATE: More Jessica Alba bikini bics here. She is not right.