In America, ALF is basically just a remnant of the 80s, cast aside and forgotten. But in Istanbul, he is apparently the biggest fashion designer around.

Listen, I think ALF is great and all. And I admire how he’s somehow been able to ingrain himself into my memory to this day, something neither my Pet Rock nor father could do, but I don’t know that I’d be looking to ALF to find the neatest trends in jeans. Or even the cheapest pairs of jeans. ALF was always scheming on the show. You’d probably end up with a pair of jeans that fall apart in the rain or give you syphilis or walk away from your house at night.