Not sure why I keep posting pics of Lindsay Lohan and her boyfriend Sam in bikinis. It is such a paradox for me. On one hand, I kind of like looking at Lindsay Lohan in a bikini. On the other, she’s with that dude. On my third hand, this is probably just a prelude to her munching that dude’s box later in the day. I am so conflicted.

My penis just doesn’t know what to think. I mean, take a look at the pics below. My penis looks to the left and is like, “Wow, I’d like to get me some of that! Right after I get a tetanus shot.” then it looks to the right and runs for cover under my balls.