Via my new favorite video site Laugh Freak comes this charming news story of Walmart and its love for penis shaped crazy straws.
Sure, current iterations of crazy straws are significantly crazy. But I’d say that, much like anything else in life, adding penises to the equation makes it even craaaaaazier (that’s why the crazy bread at my pizza shop never really took off).
At least these kids are getting adequately trained for how we’re all going to have to make money in this recession. It’s much better than learning on the job. I once dated a girl who just banged mine against her forehead, clearly confused as to how this transaction works. All of that could have been avoided if we had penis crazy straws. Or if I stopped picking up chicks on short buses. Look, solutions are always much easier in hindsight.
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November 25, 2008
#1
“Shoot us an email”? Jeez. (Or is that jizz?)
I suppose one way to one-up the story would be to give the girl milk to drink out of the straws; but it’s interesting that these straws have surely been on the shelves for months, if not years, and it’s just one person out of millions who noticed any “strangeness” in the shapes.
One imagines she gets all flustered over clouds as well, particularly mammatus formations.
November 25, 2008
#2
That’s a good point Warren. These straws should probably be filled with caro syrup mixed with powdered sugar and sprayed all over the faces of innocent children.
And yeah, there are penises in everything if you’re looking. Ads, drawings, your grandmother…everywhere.
November 26, 2008
#3
There are several brands of liquid hand soap that look a lot more like the real deal.
As to penises everywhere — hey, man, what you do with my grandmother is your own business.
November 28, 2008
#4
Is everyone in america this stupid, or is it just the people who complain a lot?