I’m not good at predictions, I barely understand how betting lines work, and I eat and drink heavily during the games. So instead of giving you half-hearted lousy pick-ems, WOI brings in some talent off the bench.

TimmyG’s Picks for Week 11

As my wise uncle once said, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Since I can’t pick your nose, how about I pick your games? Here you go. Lock ‘em up!

1. Tennessee at Jacksonville – Under 39.5 – Both teams love to run it. Plus, I spiked Jeff Fisher’s and Jack Del Rio’s coffee with laxatives. Both teams will have the runs come Sunday. Gross, I know. Ten and Oh 23 Haguars 13

2. Denver at Atlanta – Over 51 – Roddy White will use Dre Bly. Jay Cutler will throw and throw and throw some more. Michael Turner feasts on poor run defenses. Denver’s has given up the fourth most rushing scores. Warmlanta 34 DONEver 27

3. Houston at Indianapolis – Indy -8 – Remember what happened last time Sage Rosenfels played the Colts? He was far from Sage and things were far from Rosie for the Texans. Bob Sanders will spy Steve Slaton. The rest of the Colts secondary will cover Andre Johnson. Peyton Manning will have his troops ready. Peyton 31 Rosie 17

4. Baltimore at New York Giants – Under 41.5 – The Giants give up 17.8 points a game. The Ravens give up 16.7. You do the math. Both teams will leave this game black and blue and then after a few days, they’ll be yellow. Well, Joe Flacco and Eli Manning will be yellow. I don’t know if bruised African American skin turns yellow. You get my drift. They Might Be Giants 21 Ray Lewis 13

5. Oakland at Miami – Miami -10.5 – The word on the street is that Al Davis will be calling the plays and playing QB for the Raiders this week. Raise your hand if you think Oakland can stop Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams. That’s what I thought. Eggs over My Hammy 28 Suckland 10

6. New Orleans at Kansas City – Over 50 – New Orleans’ defense is garbage. Kansas City’s is worse. Tyler Thigpen (who?) is rolling. Larry Johnson returns. Drew Brees should have all day to throw against KC’s nonexistent pass rush. And, my fantasy team could use a healthy day from him. The Sunshine Band 31 Aints 28

7. Arizona at Seattle – Arizona -3 – Kurt Warner has been nothing short of awesome this year. The Seahawks will get Matt Hasselbeck and Deion Branch back, but they can’t play defense. Warner connects with his husband on a pair of scores. Cards win big. Card Sharks 31 Seagulls 14

8. Cleveland at Buffalo – Buffalo -5.5 – If you’re a football fan, you need to make your way up to Orchard Park, NY for a Bills game. Fans have had their RVs parked in the stadium lot since Wednesday. The drunken idiots will be out in full effect. Brady Quinn didn’t get a proper welcome to the NFL against Denver. He should expect one in Buffalo. Williams 27 Brownies 20