I’m not good at predictions, I barely understand how betting lines work, and I eat and drink heavily during the games. So instead of giving you half-hearted lousy pick-ems, WOI brings in some talent off the bench.

College Flavor:

Michigan State +15 at Penn State (Michigan State)

Do I expect Michigan State to win? Yes. Do I think they will? I havent decided. Do I think itll be a good game? Absolutely. Of Mark Dantonio’s eight losses in the green and white, only one has been by more than seven points. The pick … why not: Em Ess Ewe 24 Pee Ess Ewe 21

Texas Tech at Oklahoma (Under 75.5)

Yes, I know that nobody in the Big XII plays defense. But, 76 points is a lot of points. Its like six more than 70. See. Texas Techs magic carpet ride ends on Saturday. The pick: Boom goes the Sooners 38 The Technicians 31

Pro Flavor:

New England +1.5 at Miami (New England)

Miami came into Foxboro and took the Pats behind the tool shed in week 2. Week 2 also marked the birth of this crazy Wildcat offensive phenomenon. I have to think that Bill Belicheat has been looking at all sorts of film this week hopefully no raunchy adult film. The pick: Wicked Cheatuhs 27 Souff Beach 23

San Francisco at Dallas -10 (Dallas)

Jessica Simpson could show up to this game and Dallas would still cover. I detest all things Cowboys, but I think theyre starting to roll. Shoot, I hope Jessica does show up to this game in a bikini

It might make it interesting. The pick: Cowgirls 31 Forteh Niners 13

Tampa Bay at Detroit +8.5 (Detroit)

Dont think Guyism wont be lurking outside the Bucs hotel hoping to catch a glimpse of Jeff Garcias wife, Carmella DeCesare

Really, what does she see in him? If she keeps Garcia up all night, the Lions might just keep it close. The pick: The Yucks 19 Rod Verysmelly 16

Oakland at Denver -9 (Denver)

Can you believe that Jennifer Stano actually posted here?

WTF? OMG. Call me, Jennifer. XOXO. The pick: Denver 28 Oakland 17

Green Bay at New Orleans (Over 51.5)

Drew Brees deep to Devery Henderson. Aaron Rodgers deep to Greg Jennings. Drew Brees to Lance Moore. Aaron Rodgers to Donald Driver. Seriously, call me, XO. Brees to Marques Colston. Rodgers back to Jennings …you get my drift. The pick: Nawlins 526 Green Ay Bay Bay 505