Ever wonder why you’re always catching colds and illnesses and STDs from women? Turns out it’s because their bodies are havens for germs.

Ladies, your hands are a zoo. Sampling the bacterial DNA on human skin has revealed that while women’s hands get washed more often than men’s, they teem with a more diverse selection of germs.

What’s more, the average person’s hands probably carry at least 3000 different bacteria belonging to more than 100 species. This startling cornucopia may make it possible to tell which objects have been touched by someone, just by looking at the bacteria left behind.

Noah Fierer and colleagues at the University of Colorado at Boulder in the US swabbed the palms of 51 undergraduates coming out of an exam. They then used the PCR technique to amplify the bacterial DNA present, and sequenced the genetic material using a high-throughput method called pyrosequencing.

“We were pretty surprised to see such clear differences between men and women,” says Fierer. “We don’t know the causes.” Differences in sweat and sebum production, hormones and even the use of cosmetics might be involved, but it could simply be that men’s skin is more acid – acid environments tend to have less microbial diversity.

I can’t say I’m surprised. Emotionally, women are all devils, so it’s not really any surprise that they’re taking their warfare to a biological level. You hear that women? Your sweet skin, sexy curves, and womanly smells are all ways of luring us in to your vaginal anthrax.

I have to wonder though if the researches did a really in-depth look at men’s balls for this study. I’m pretty sure that there are much worse things congregating there than on any woman. In fact, that’s where the Plague came from…teabagging was the hot trend of the time so while everyone was pulling their scrotal pranks, they spread the disease further and further. Don’t even bother looking it up, it’s true. We call that scientific fact, my friends.

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