Seriously, Alex Rodriguez’s downward spiral into becoming the creepiest professional athlete ever just took another big dive as it is being reported that A-Load bought his new girlfriend-forever Madonna a new Rolls Royce. So sad…

“…word from Madonna-ites who witness almost every one of Queen M’s face tinkerings (trust, that be a lotta tinkering) is that A-Rod gifted Madge with, yes, a Rolls-Royce.

No word, as yet, from Camp Madonna, on whether or not it’s officially true, but certainly would explain the dramatic staging of a Rolls in the girl’s Sticky & Sweet tour.”

Blrghthjppt… sorry, just puked in my mouth again…

Rod, a word of advice. You’re in your early 30’s. You’re loaded. You are a pro baseball player. A really good pro baseball player. Hell, you play for the dreaded Yankees in NYC, Rod. Madonna? Really? You’re really going to make me put the WAG tag on Madonna? Don’t you know that there are like 10,000 women in the United States hotter (and a decade or two younger) than Madonna that would have sex with you right now?

Here… a list of babes you could probably have that are better than Madonna… (The last four are my favorites.)

And this is just part one of my nine-part list, Alex…