Unfortunately, he didn’t literally send them feces. But what he did send the girls was even odder.

A young man from Cypress is set to be charged Friday with 13 felonies for what authorities say was an elaborate scheme in which he would obtain the personal information of unsuspecting young women through Facebook, then send them packages using assumed identities.

The women would receive an e-mail with a tracking number for a package from an “Art Shaw” of Aramark Corp. When they opened the package, they would find blank notepaper and envelopes, and sometimes, markers. Sharpie markers, according to police.

Police allege Arpan Harshad Shah, 26, used aliases, false e-mail addresses, drop locations and stolen corporate FedEx account numbers to hide the fact that he was the one sending the women packages.

When police served the search warrant, they found FedEx receipts from the three companies, Facebook records, notepads, envelopes and Sharpie markers. The Sharpies came in various colors.

Yes, this guy went through all this trouble and the possibility of several years of jail time on a felony for…sending girls paper and markers. I’m sure it’s some creepy fetish in which he’s like “Yeahhhhh, you take those markers you dirty little whore” but it just seems kind of pointless. What would he think they’re doing with the markers? As far as I know, when women receive a mysterious package, they don’t just immediately shove it into intimate areas. All I’m saying is if you want to be a creep, maybe you need to commit all the way and go with the classics…pictures of yourself in compromising positions, used tissues, crotchless panties. They’re classics for a reason.

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