For you, dear reader, I aim to educate as much as I do to entertain. Hot dogs are a huge part of America’s culture and now you can learn how they’re made! And try not to vomit on your shoes!

I really like hot dogs. In fact, when I was living with two of my friends, we used to have a day every now and then in which we’d put crazy toppings on hot dogs. The first time we did it, it was Martin Luther King Day, so it was called Martin Luther Hot Dog Day. Because what better way can you celebrate an important black leader than eating an encased blob of crap with potato salad, jelly, and bacon bits thrown on top?

After watching this video, I’d rather eat a bum’s asshole than eat hot dogs. Okay, that’s not true, but I’d still rather have not seen this video. Even though this horrifies me, I have no clue how else I would get my daily dose of jellied chicken trimmings. Taking it intravenously doesn’t seem like the best of ideas unless I want to have Oprah’s cholesterol. Sigh.

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