It may shock you to learn that an industry which primarily features unconscious or drugged women would be a haven for sexual predators.

Yeah a nurse isn’t a paramedic, but would you rather see a SEXUAL PREDATOR here? I think not!

They answer the call 24-7, often risking their own safety to rescue the sick and injured and rush them to the hospital. But some paramedics have been more predator than hero.

Over the past 18 months, at least 129 ambulance attendants across the U.S. have been accused of sex-related crimes on duty or off, an investigation by The Associated Press found. Some of them molested patients in the back of an ambulance.

“It’s a dream job for a sexual predator,” said Greg Kafoury, a Portland, Ore., lawyer who represents three women who were groped by a paramedic. “Everything is there: Women who are incapacitated, so they’re hugely distracted. Medical cover to put your hands in places where, in any other context, a predator would be immediately recognized as such.”

But, even better, are the anecdotes of sexual assault from this article:

* A Standish, Mich., paramedic sent to prison in March for molesting a girl who was on her way to the hospital after she was injured at her 15th birthday party.
* A Pinellas County, Fla., paramedic arrested in July after he allegedly sexually assaulted a woman in an ambulance en route to a hospital.
* A Chester County, Pa., paramedic sentenced in July to up to 20 years in prison for engaging in sex and providing alcohol to teenagers he befriended through their interest in emergency medical service.
* A Chattanooga, Tenn., EMT accused in a lawsuit of giving a 30-year-old woman an extra dose of morphine and then completely undressing her in the back of an ambulance even though her injuries were minor.

My favorite:

* A Copperas Cove, Texas, paramedic awaiting trial in January on charges he exposed and touched an 18-year-old accident victim’s breasts while pretending to tend to her injuries.

There’s nothing worse than being a supple 18 year-old girl calling the paramedics for a broken toe and then having him undress you and examine your breasts to tend to your injuries. Oh wait, there are nerve endings in my nipples that connect to my toe? Oh, go right ahead then sir, you’re the licensed professional.

I’m thinking these lewd paramedics probably are going to be out of a job soon if they aren’t already. And after getting caught like this, you probably want to do something a little less risky. Might I suggest a mortician? Though I guess it’s kind of awkward that the woman’s disembodied spirit will have to watch you fondle her dead body. Wait, did I say awkward. I meant hot. Sorry, I get those two words confused all the time. Unless she turns into a zombie. In which case, well, you knew the risks when you got into this game, didn’t you?

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