I love a good cold cut as much as the next guy, but I’ve been finding them to be a bit lacking lately. Fortunately, here’s a way that can really kick the taste up a notch…FRESH HUMAN BOY MEAT.

I’m always more inclined to buy products when creepy little kids are on the cover. Veal bologna, milk, uh..baby food…really, anything. The fact that the picture looks like it was taken in the 70s only means that it’s had a lot of time to age. Unlike the child, ideally.

Also I can think of nothing that would make you more deserving of being arrested on site than selling a big phallic object with a child’s face on it. I’d be surprised if this kid weren’t locked up in a dungeon at some point at his life for an exciting “veal bologna” photoshoot that ended in tears and fantasies of being saved by a brave rescue team.

[via]