A 107 year-old Chinese woman is looking for a husband. Put on your finest suits lads, because the lines for a chance at this fair lady’s bony, varicose vein-filled hand are probably going to be around the block!

A 107-year-old Chinese woman who was afraid to marry when she was young has decided to look for her first husband and hopes to find a fellow centenarian so they will have something to talk about, a Chinese paper reported.

Wang Guiying is worried she is becoming a burden to her aging nieces and nephews since breaking her leg when she was 102 and had to stop doing chores like washing her clothes.

“I’m already 107 and I still haven’t got married,” the Chongqing Commercial Times quoted her saying.

Local officials have said they are happy to help Ms Wang search for a 100-year old groom, and suggested her family get in touch with old people’s homes to find candidates, the paper said.

The idea of breaking the seal on a 107 year-old woman might be the least appealing thing on Earth that has ever been conjured up. I imagine it’d begin with a long night of feeding each other prunes and her complaining about how the cold makes her joints her. Then we’d feed each other chocolate-covered prunes and begin a sweet embrace, while kissing her feels roughly like making out with a long-dead aunt. And then actually making “love” to her would probably feel like f’ing a microwaved bag of grilled flank steak mixed with sawdust.

So I think it’s safe to say I’d rather deflower a blender than I would this lady.

[source]