Couple gets free $177k, gets caught

I’ve always wondered what I’d do if my bank mistakenly gave me free money. Apparently fleeing to Florida and trying to buy cars and a house isn’t the proper solution. Shucks.

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Police say a central Pennsylvania couple did not call the bank when a $1,772.50 deposit showed up in their account as $177,250. Authorities say 50-year-old Randy Pratt and 36-year-old Melissa Marie Pratt of Bloomsburg took out the money, quit their jobs and moved to Florida.

The two were arraigned Tuesday and jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail. District Judge Donna Coombe says a public defender and a conflicts lawyer are being assigned.

Police say Melissa Pratt deposited the check at FNB Bank last summer. When the big balance showed up, investigators say, the two wrote checks to another account, bought a new vehicle and were buying a house in the Orlando area when the mistake was traced.

It’s a tough spot to be in, particularly when you completely lack ethics like me or the Pratts. I’d be reluctant to give the money back because, hey, it’s money, but at the same time, I’d prefer not to get raped violently in jail over the next ten years because I got caught having spent all of the bank’s money on blow and more sturdy dollar bills to snort the blow with. I’ve never used cocaine but I just assume you’ve got to live the lifestyle.

Also f the female Pratt for selling her husband down the river like that. “Oh he gets big checks all the time, I’m sure it’s cool because he would have said something otherwise,” was basically the gist of what she said. You know what she’d have gotten out of that money after that crap? A knee right in the vagina. Would it hurt a woman? I don’t know man but after I lost that money, experimentation is all I can hope for.

[source]

Chris Spags Chris is a comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. He previously ran Blog of Hilarity and has contributed to numerous other prominent outlets. Known for his biting wit and nose for interesting items, there is no doubt that Chris smells better than any other writer that you can find.

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