Condoms are important because they save you from STDs, pregnancy, and the subsequent effort involved with kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach. So you can understand why Durex is going the extra mile to get the word out about their brand.

There’s nothing quite as sexy as a bisexual balloon animal orgy. At least, that’s what I thought for most of my life, up until I did that clown performance for the pregnant teens at the Youth Center. You’d think that after taking internal money shots from gang members named Julio, they’d be prepared for such a performance but apparently not. You’d also think they’d put out easier, but hey, there are some sacrifices you make for the good of the community.