Ever heard of the sexual term the “Lion King”? If you’re like me, you hadn’t. But you will never forget it now.

In text form, in case you get confused and can’t read words on images:

When having sex, you pull out right before you ejaculate. Go in your own hand. Get the girl to face you and before she realizes it, use your thumb to smear some sperm across her forehead and say “Simba”.

“I used the Lion King on my girlfriend last night”

I loved the Lion King as a child and I can only imagine that adding this dimension to the film would really spice it up. At the very least, it’d probably spice it up a bit more than my previous attempts. Imagining myself having sex with Nala just made me feel like a creep and imagining Scar getting into an orgy with the hyenas just made me envision Whoopi Goldberg nude on the ground in the Serengeti, so this seems like a reasonable compromise.

I always enjoy these sexual terms but I have to wonder if anyone has ever actually done any of them. I can imagine that, at worst, anything like a Chili Dog or a Strawberry Shortcake would get you divorced and possibly jailed while, at best, you’re going to lose the respect of someone and probably yourself. And that sure doesn’t taste like a real chili dog, believe me on that.