Getting tried for a crime can be stressful on anyone. But there are probably better ways to handle it than smearing crap on the face of your lawyer then throwing more at the jury.

A mistrial was declared Monday when a home-invasion robbery suspect smeared human feces on his attorney’s face then threw more at the jury.

Weusi McGowan, 37, was upset because San Diego Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Fraser refused to remove Deputy Alternate Public Defender Jeffrey Martin from the case, prosecutor Christopher Lawson said.

At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on Martin’s hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No. 9 but missing the juror himself.

“That juror didn’t even see it coming,” Lawson said.

The prosecutor said the defendant was compliant after the outburst and was taken into custody without further incident.

After lunch, Fraser dismissed the jury, telling them McGowan would have to get a new lawyer and that his trial would be delayed.

More than anything, I’m confused as to how this man got so much feces into the courtroom. It’s also kind of fun to imagine him being handcuffed while spreading his feces around, meaning he’d have to turn away from everyone then leap in the air to get enough torque to fling his apparently endless surplus of crap around. It’s the most lighthearted crap-throwing visual I’ve ever conjured up.

You know, when you’re being tried for a crime, there’s no better way to get a jury on your side than really playing to their emotions. Some people like to do it with a touching story or by providing a background on their lives and how they’re a victim of the system. Others like to do it by throwing feces at the jury. That’s pretty much the same thing, except one comes with undigested corn, so it’s practically like getting a bonus. The lawyer probably deserved it though. In fact, every lawyer does. It probably should be part of how they pay their taxes.

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