I speculated yesterday on whether Michelle and new President Barack Obama did the deed (sex) on Inauguration Night and, now, thanks to this courageous reporter, we know they often do much more than that.

I get that after you have a kid, it can stretch things out but man, fisting? That’s pretty intense. I can’t say I’ve ever indulged in such things but, needless to say, if I had, I’d really enjoy it. Not because I’d find it sexy but because I’ve always dreamt of dating a puppet. Sigh. My love affair with Grover was never really meant to be, no matter how many times I was molested at Sesame Place.