Back in September, 22 year-old virgin Natalie Dylan began soliciting bids for the right to split her cooch. By October, we found out she was getting valuations at around $3.8 million. And now…she’s still selling the goods and hoping to get even more bids, which is f’ing retarded.

Natalie Dylan, a 22-year-old San Diego woman, said she got the idea for the auction after her sister was able to pay for her college education after prostituting herself for three weeks, according to the London Telegraph.

Dylan has a degree in women’s studies. She told the paper she hopes to pay for an advanced degree in family and marriage therapy with the proceeds from the auction.

She told the Telegraph that she doesn’t think she’s the only one who will be benefit from the auction.

“I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal,” Dylan told the paper.

It’s ridiculous to me that it’s taking this long for her to receive a gentleman caller in her reproductive orifice. If it were me and I offered $3.8 million to some girl looking to sell her virginity and she took literally months to get around to telling me yes or no, I’d probably be a bit insulted (and would probably console myself by building myself a new woman with all the money I have lying around for frivolous ventures, part of the fundraising work by my team at Shitty Investments Capital). There are gorgeous non-professional-whoring women on the street whom you could offer that money too and they’d probably end up giving you a rimjob wherever you please just to sniff your bank statements.

All I’m saying is put up or shut up Natalie Dylan. Only you could find a way to make the idea of a 22 year-old college girl getting ravaged by a strange man for the first time into an utterly annoying process.

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