So Miley Cyrus went clothes shopping and the heroic paparazzi were there to chronicle this special occasion in a young woman’s life. What heroes.

Pretty much everywhere across the globe, Miley Cyrus is legally allowed to engage in Super Happy Adult Jizzy Fun Time. Except for America, where there are “statutes” which prohibit getting to know Miley on a more personal level. But if you were brought up on charges of said special friendship, how the f would that be fair? This is basically entrapment. Miley Cyrus is basically a piece of cheese in a mouse trap when she does stuff like this; it’s totally unevening the playing field. Girls her age should be, I don’t know, riding ponies or some shit. Wait her boobs fell out doing that too? AHHHHH GET OUT OF MY HEAD.