Tourists are douchebags

Via Flickr comes this very telling image that illustrates how much tourists suck at life.

It may shock you to learn that these tourists were not actually supporting the leaning tower of Pisa with their bare hands based upon the pictures that they showed you. I know it’s hard to believe. It’s not the first time a tourist has conned me though. They come into the country acting all lost and confused and asking for directions and then all of a sudden they find themselves forcing an ether-soaked rag into my hand and coercing me to drag them to a hotel room bathtub begging me to liberate their kidneys from them for sale on the black market. Yeah, tourists can certainly be tricky and profitable. Mostly tricky.

In related news, the Washington Monument is also not your friend’s penis, no matter how many cleverly constructed photos from DC your friend showed you. Additionally, if his penis did look like a white stone building, he may have a very serious condition or be a Stone Man like the Thing from the Fantastic Four. In which case, you should probably sell him to a freak show. In fact, you should probably do that anyway, just to be safe. That’s what friends are for.

AxelDC
January 27, 2009
#1

Of course it’s a silly gimmick to look to be supporting the Tower of Pisa. However, those silly tourists buy lunch and silly trinkets, giving an otherwise uninteresting city in Italy a major economic base. You don’t here Pisans wishing they would go away, or if you do it’s only if they left their wallets behind.
I’m glad I live in an era where I have been to the Eiffel Tower, the Washington Monument and the Tower of Pisa. Tourism may have its downsides, but it has brought a lot of understanding and learning to your average world citizen.
George
January 27, 2009
#2

Well, yeah. A lot of tourists really, really suck.
Have you heard about the pandemic of outrageous Brits getting arrested around the world for being utter asses?
And then people judge me because I don’t travel. (Have they heard of poverty and/or too many obligations?)
People should fix themselves; wandering around the world as a schmuck is no better than being a schmuck here at home.
Chuck
January 27, 2009
#3

So the corny tourists are supposed to walk around with their hands in their pockets, sullen and emo, to satisfy you? So they’re goofy and unoriginal, why is this so horrible to you? But I’m sure you’re the cultured non-douchebag who sits in the park reading original texts and lamenting the fall of Western civilization and drinking the correct wine with the correct grub and generally being an awesome tourist, an example for all travelers. Not an elitist prick at all. Or maybe you sit at home and post and make fun of 2 dimensional images of tourists on Flickr. You are to be worshiped.
Tom
January 27, 2009
#4

Oh, you are so fiendishly cynical. Please, more. Careful though – I think I may be getting dizzy from your aura of coolness.
Adam
January 27, 2009
#5

I had my wife take a similar picture of me in Pisa last year, on our honeymoon.
Except I was pushing the cathedral down, instead.
Chris
January 27, 2009
#6

Chuck – I’d say they should not only look emo, they should also look completely blase about the architectural majesty behind them A simple shrug would suffice.
Or they could just take a picture in front of it while smiling instead of trying to be clever like the other 20 asses surrounding them. Crazy and unconventional, I know.
Jim C.
January 27, 2009
#7

“You don’t here Pisans wishing they would go away, or if you do it’s only if they left their wallets behind.”
Ya, but the tourists in this picture are still douchebags.
iyou
January 27, 2009
#8

I’m submitting the photo from this post to the photo clichés blog.
http://www.photocliches.com/
Oh, look, they’ve already got a photo there.
http://www.photocliches.com/2009/01/italys-most-spot-for-cliches.html
Lee
January 27, 2009
#9

Outside of our own heart we are all tourists
Seth
January 27, 2009
#10

Tourists are douchebags? People who watch (and advertise) “College” (on DVD January 27) are douchebags.
Fred
January 27, 2009
#11

So what?! Who wrote this? Some sort of loser who never goes anywhere? This world would be a lot better place if everybody got off their a$$ and got look at what was really going on the other side of the world. But right, very clever you are bag of hilarity!
???
January 27, 2009
#12

I call shenanigans. This looks too coincidental to NOT be a setup.
Elisabeth
January 28, 2009
#13

Tourists can definitely be douchebags, but this isn’t one of the reasons why. Is being corny and unoriginal really what you think makes a douchebag? Weird.
Motorod
January 28, 2009
#14

Tourists, douchebags? Uh, no just silly in general or boorish in the British particular. American tourists? Douchebags a-plenty, but mostly because they can’t accept that “things are really different there” and that the people in those countries prefer it that way, NOT because they take cory pictures.
Then again, American workers typically only have a week off paid vacation, which means America is not even really a civilized country. We honestly can’t expect American tourists to be anything but douchebags, given their pressing holiday schedules. It’s always surprising whenever they prove otherwise.
Motorod
January 28, 2009
#15

Sorry, typo, it was meant to read “corny pictures,” not “cory pictures” Corny pictures do not a douchebag make. Ordering Ranch dressing in a restaurant however…
Richard
January 28, 2009
#16

And all these people who are being so damned judgmental about a piece of humor are also douchebags, as am I for being judgmental about them being judgmental. Ergo, we are all douchebags which makes douchebaggery normal and not worth commenting on. Kind of take the fun out of it.
Andisheh Nouraee
January 28, 2009
#17

It’s people having harmless fun. Just like this blog, only without the smugness.
Vince
January 28, 2009
#18

I would that we all would remember that inner child that allows us to be silly and laugh and truly enjoy the world around us. What’s important in life is love, happiness, friends and people. If stupid pictures helps one to achieve this, even for one second, then snap an extra for me.
RJP3
January 28, 2009
#19

Snobs just cant deal with “ordinary” people, having “ordinary” fun, with thier friends and family.
Snobs also are oblivious to how lucky those “ordianary” people are to be their in the first place.
Snobs are nothing but people with a very sad limited perspective – it makes them unhappy and post things like this.
Sad snob.
devil
February 10, 2009
#20

I love how you can totally tell which of the people commenting here have gone to Pisa and had that same stupid, corny, pathetically unoriginal picture taken of themselves. It’s awesome how well defensiveness comes through on the Internet! Ha! And I also love how several of the “leave the Pisa douches alone (because I’m one of them)!” whiners make stupid spelling mistakes, like confusing here/hear and their/there. I guess originality and good spelling must be on the same gene!