In an interview with Maxim, Tracy Morgan reveals that his penis is so epic that it warranted a special tattoo. Yeah.

“I have a tattoo on the side of my penis that says stove top,” Morgan tells me proudly, referring to the instant stuffing mix. “I’m pretty well-endowed. A girl told me to get that because I stuffed her up like a turkey. She said, ‘You should call that Stove Top!’”

It’s about 10 minutes into our interview on a day off from shooting, and Morgan wants to talk tattoos. He starts ticking them off: a peace sign, a happy and sad face, a cross bearing the names of his ex-wife and three sons, the name of a friend he played football with in high school who was murdered. He lifts up his shirt, revealing his doughy torso as he displays the words ME, MYSELF, & I on his back. And then there’s STOVE TOP.

I know what you’re thinking. A black guy with a comically massive penis? Stop the presses! What’s even worse is that Tracy Morgan’s story is so captivating that he got an Asian friend to tattoo “Rice Cake” on his penis because his penis was known to only satisfy the needs of women with an anorexic vagina. It was written in Chinese characters though, for spacing reasons.

[source]