I get that they used to put cocaine into everything back in the day, but this just seems a bit ridiculous that to me that you’d expect it to have some sort of curative property on your teeth. Aren’t coked up people notorious for grinding their teeth together?
I know the idea of giving kids drugs is appealing because it’s so glamorous to us today thanks to after school specials and hilarious YouTube videos of children doped up after going to the dentist but it’s not the best long-term idea. Not because the kid will get addicted or whatever because, f it, if you’re paying for my drugs, knock yourself out. But rather because kids get all messed up and annoying when they’re eating a Pixie Stick, I can’t imagine it’d be better for them to be chopping up lines. Just look at that picture above…the little girl seems to have arms that have turned completely numb and this kid is trying to build a wood cabin like he’s Abraham Lincoln or a little pig with great foresight. I guess that’s really the main lesson I want to impart to you today: Kids really can’t handle their drugs.
Guyism Picks: Today's Best Links
Latest Posts on Guyism
Latest Comments
Loading ...
February 19, 2009
#1
I hate to be that guy but Cocaine is an excellent local anesthetic. It is still used, occasionally, in eye surgeries. It is closely related to lidocaine and novocaine. It may not have been the best but it certainly would have cured a toothache.
February 19, 2009
#2
Cocaine is a local anaesthetic, hence its effects on numbing teeth when applied topically.
In fact, when you go to the dentist today and get your tooth frozen before they whip out the dreaded drill, they numb the nerves using a drug that has been derived from cocaine – bupivicaine (marcaine).
February 20, 2009
#3
Actually this is one of the few old cocaine remedies that makes sense. Cocaine is a powerful local anesthetic, albeit temporary. Tooth pain will be gone right away! Many topical analgesics are derived from cocaine and in some medical instances cocaine is still used for very specialized purposes!
February 20, 2009
#4
…comedy is slightly less fun when you guys blind me with science.
February 20, 2009
#5
Quite explaining it science-heads. That’s damn funny stuff. Roll with it.
February 20, 2009
#6
Did you know…. Heroin cures hemroids.
March 11, 2009
#7
actually heroin doesnt cure hemroids, they make them worse. I know