From the Women’s Experience Theatre 10th anniversary benefit in NYC…

I bet that Emmanuelle Chriqui is a big fan of the Women’s Experience Theater and learned a lot for it and blah blah menstruation. But there’s no f’ing way that having Emmanuelle Chriqui at a benefit for a theatre for women is going to be a good thing. You know what would encourage me to act? Seeing a bunch of fat, untalented people at the same audition because then I’d be like, “Wow, I’m really good, I should keep doing this.” But if you bring this chick to the theatre, suddenly my stock fell like, well, like every stock on Earth lately.

Having Emanuelle Chriqui show up at your theatre is basically equivalent to having a Ferrari show up at your soapbox derby. Yeah, it’s nice for the Ferrari to show up, but these other women pretty much look like shitty refrigerator boxes (and also probably smell just like a refrigerator box, a fragrance of homeless men’s urine and whiskey).