I’m all for honesty in advertising if you’re going to wear a t-shirt with words on it but this may be a bit too transparent.

Now I’m not a fat guy so I can’t say I relate completely to the Fat Man’s Plight, but here’s a pro-tip: Instead of wearing shirts that advertise how no one could possibly want you without drinking a vat of turpentine (whether ironic or not), maybe dress in a way that makes you look put together instead of the Battletoads-playing, cheese arm-pitted slob that you are. Or you could join a gym and stop eating fried ass.

Though I guess just date-raping drunk girls is a viable alternative. At least it shows some sense of being a go-getter. Jerking off into a Jar Jar Binks thermos while watching Olivia Munn on G4…not so much.