From a rainy day in Hollywood…

I could kind of give less of a shit about Hilary Duff but I find it fairly amusing how she seems to go from fat to not fat to fat to not fat (where she is presently, it seems) and she’s like 22 or some shit. If you’re that young, you should have one body weight: Thin and fable. It can be achieved through a number of ways including exercise, diet, and vomiting like you swallowed rat poison after thinking it was delicious candy pellets. But it must be achieved otherwise you’ve pretty much run out of use.

At the same time, I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologize for a lack of hot chicks lately but apparently during the winter, celebrity whores decide that their “warmth” is more important than my “penis”. It’s wholly disrespectful and, frankly, no way to build upon our relationship (relationship being loosely defined through heavy breathing from outside their bathroom windows…see, I make sacrifices in the cold, why can’t you? Selfish).