From all of the Grammys’ festivities last night…

I honestly think Katy Perry is the hottest musician alive right now because she has huge breasts and kind of looks like a 1960s pin-up girl which is superhot because it reminds me of stuff like Leave It to Beaver and black people getting sprayed like hoses (both of which are scientifically proven to be major aphrodisiacs).

And people like to say, “Oh she’s okay looking but her music sucks so that’s such a turn-off.” I think those people are idiots or closeted homosexuals. I’m not at all exaggerating when I say that if she looks this good, she can not only sing crappy songs and dress up like a banana on stage, she can also plan ethnic cleansings or eat panda dung sandwiches and I’d still be completely in love with her. Perhaps more so. I’d do anything to spend an intimate night with Katy Perry. Even listen to a Katy Perry CD.