Whenever I see someone in a wheelchair I go, “AHHH GET AWAY CYBORG” because I’m easily confused. But now there’s another reason to run away…the risk of seeing their genitals.

The 20-year-old woman said she was dropping off a man at the apartment complex in the 2800 block of Douglas Avenue about 1:15 a.m., on Wednesday.

The woman told police she saw the man in the wheelchair in the lot. She asked him where he was going and if she could give him a ride.

Police said in a report that the man told her it was none of her business where he was going.

He allegedly wheeled himself over to her car window, locked his wheelchair, lifted himself up on one leg and exposed himself to her.

He then thrust himself against the driver’s side window.

On the plus side, this is the most excitement this guy’s penis has had in years. Being the penis of a guy in a wheelchair probably makes you feel as useful as being Jessica Simpson’s treadmill. You just look around all day and feel depressed about your lot in life.

I can’t imagine that this guy pulling out his wang was the quickest process in the world though so what was this chick waiting for? At 1 in the morning, if I see some dude in a wheelchair I’m definitely going the opposite way, let alone if he slowly wheels over and props up his noodle legs while his pristine shoes dangle there. It’s pretty much your fault for not avoiding it. You might as well get sodomized by a sloth at that point.

[source]