I just got this in my inbox and have no clue where it’s from, but I’m going to assume it’s from, I don’t know, a high school softball game in Indiana where lives were changed forever (because I so desperately want this to be real).

If the people on her team had any creativity, they’d get some masking tape and change the numbers on her back to two arrows pointing downwards. Lazy kids and your lack of cartographical ass jokes.

It’s easy to say that this is the worst last name ever but I don’t know that it’d be entirely true to say that. I mean what if your name were Cumslut McDumpsterC. That’d be pretty rough too. And your parents must be really insensitive. Or maybe they just really liked your mom’s high school nickname. Either way, I’d say that’s probably less than ideal to sign on a work application unless you’re working for myfirstcumshot.com in which case, jackpot.