Naked guys seem to end up in a whole lot of problems with the law but this guy really takes the penis dangling cake with crashing into cop cars, running away from the scene and having a minor in the car with him.

Two days after a Willows man backed a truck into a sheriff’s patrol car, landed the truck in a ditch and fled nude on a country road, the suspect turned himself in to authorities.
John Michael Ferraris, 24, was arrested Monday by Glenn County sheriff’s deputies, and faces an assault charge for his actions toward the officer. He may also be charged in connection with a juvenile girl who was found in the truck after he ran.

According to Glenn County Sheriff Larry Jones, while patrolling on County Road 48 outside of Willows at around 11:15 Saturday night, Sgt. Todd James noticed a 2003 four-door Nissan pickup parked against a locked gate at Knights Ponds, an area known locally as “the gravel pits.”

After positioning his car behind the truck to prevent its escape, James shined a spotlight on the pickup and saw a naked man jump from the rear seat area to the driver’s seat. James then saw the truck’s backup lights and the suspect looking over his right shoulder at the officer.

At that point, Ferraris hit the accelerator hard and backed at high speed toward James’s patrol car. The right rear of the Nissan hit the front left side of the police car.

The suspect kept driving in reverse with the truck “in full throttle” and its tires throwing gravel. It eventually went up a ditch bank and landed in the empty ditch, Jones reported.

Ferraris ran away on foot in the cold and rain, leaving a 17-year-old girl in the rear seat of the truck.

I can’t say I fully support everything this guy did during this crazy night, but you really have to applaud him for setting the bar for a nude man going off the deep end. The only way you could do more illegal things without actually harming someone (it wouldn’t be quite as whimsical if he were a naked guy shooting people with an AK47) is if he were found drunkenly having sex with a tree at the end of his run. An underaged tree I’d assume, based upon his preferences.

There should really just be an Olympic event for naked drunk guys running obstacle courses. Man that’d be sexy. I MEAN FUNNY NOT SEXY AT ALL OH GOD WHY CAN’T I CONTROL THESE EVIL THOUGHTS OR HIT MY DELETE BUTTON AFTER THEY COME OUT?!?!

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