Friday the 13th only comes along so often because calendars are stingy like that (actually apparently we have three Friday the 13ths this year…thanks for that, Calendar Gods). So to celebrate this special day, here’s a dead white guy in a hockey mask punching a black guy’s head off. It’s a mystery how I didn’t win an NAACP award last night.

In the annals of great ideas, getting into a fist fight with a mutant who survived lightning strikes, machete chops, drownings, and who knows what the f else is probably as good of an idea as taking a trip to Haiti and saying that the only protection you need is your umbrella.

For the record I will be going to see the Friday the 13th remake in some theatre tonight. I’ll be the one disdainfully looking at the people of certain ethnicities going “OH SNAP WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU GIRL JASON GON GIT YOU” but not courageous enough to say anything. So basically I’m every white person in every movie theatre ever.