Via BasicInstructions comes this important breakdown of drinking for those in need of knowledge.

This is funny but it’s lacking something. If you’re going to give people a guide about drinking and not mention the dangers of date rape, you’re doing a serious disservice to yourself and your readers. Date rape is a harrowing process. Oh not like if you’re a chick, I mean like, if you’re a guy and you f a fat girl. It’s basically like you raped yourself with your own dick. And the showers will wash off the stench of Cheetos and smelly fat girl vagina but not the stench of the harsh realization that yes, in fact, you’ve lost at life. So take that next Irish Car Bomb with caution, fellows.