Via CrookedGremlin comes this cautionary tale of what can happen if you try to clean up your boyfriend a bit too much.

It’s like I always tell my girlfriend: “Keep trying to change me, and I’ll end up getting sodomized.” I’m not sure exactly how that’ll happen when I take out the garbage or buy her an engagement ring, but rest assured, it’ll happen. Like a girthy homing missile attached to a man named Julian with frosted tips on his hair.