Hey you know what sounds kind of shitty? Living in a cave. More shitty? Getting your cave foreclosed. Fortunately, the family who lives in a Missouri cave is getting a mortgage.

An eastern Missouri family expects they’ll be able to stay in their home built inside a cave after accepting an offer of a private mortgage contract. Curt Sleeper said Tuesday that a New Jersey-based business offered a 15-year loan with a low interest rate that should allow the family to keep their home in Festus, about 30 miles south of St. Louis.
“We’re excited about it.” To celebrate: “We’re throwing a party at a friend’s cave,” he said.

Curt and Deborah Sleeper fell in love with the unique geography of an old mining cave in 2004 and figured out how to build a house inside of it. But they were having trouble making a large payment that was coming due on the property, prompting them to put their home up for auction on eBay.

They no longer plan to auction the home through the Web site, but Sleeper says the house will remain there until paperwork is completed on the loan.

Jon Demarest, owner of Logical Source Inc., confirmed that his the Fairfield, N.J.-based archiving and medical record company offered the Sleepers a mortgage.

“I was intrigued by it,” Demarest said. “Someone who has put that much into it shouldn’t lose it.”

The Sleepers built their cave home with the help of friends. A gray timber frame exterior was constructed in the 37-foot-tall opening of the cave. Thirty-seven sliding glass doors also are used as windows throughout the three-story, three-bedroom home, allowing natural light throughout the finished sections of the home.

You know who lives in caves? Batman and terrorists. So since this family isn’t rolling around and saving my ass from getting raped by the Joker, I’m inclined to think they’re the latter.

Though holy shit how f’ing obnoxious is that their f’ing cavehouse is nicer than any apartment I will ever rent or own in New York City? Though granted, I don’t really have to worry about some Cavern Monster waking me up in the middle of the night and f’ing my nostrils. Not since I broke up with my ex, at least.

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