The Pope is pretty much King of the Catholics, so he must know everything right? For example, his knowledge of how condoms actually cause more HIV than they do prevent it. Yes, you read that right.

Pope Benedict XVI said on his way to Africa Tuesday that condoms were not the answer in the continent’s fight against HIV, his first explicit statement on an issue that has divided even clergy working with AIDS patients.

Benedict had never directly addressed condom use. He has said that the Roman Catholic Church is in the forefront of the battle against AIDS. The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease.

“You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane headed to Yaounde, Cameroon, where he will begin a seven-day pilgrimage on the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

I don’t use condoms (why would you when there’s an abundance of coathangers and ways to disappear now?) so I can’t speak to the accuracy of his claims, but I’m pretty sure that the Pope’s data might be a bit inaccurate here. It seems to me that putting a layer of protective latex between yourself and an AIDS-ridden orifice would probably be better than just going “Jesus will save me” and crossing your fingers while you spray a load of disease and potential infants into your loved one.

I also don’t think that you want to go to the Pope for sex advice. I’d rather have Andrea Yates show me how to properly bathe my children.

[source]