I get a lot of crap from publicists attempting to promote things of no interest to me. Occasionally, I’ll run one. So let’s honor the contributions of 208 Restaurant in NYC in healing the wounds caused by Bernie Madoff’s thievery from the rich.

NYC Businessman Nino Selimaj is announcing today he is trying to make up for the $50 billion dollars in losses of Bernard Madoff’s over 2,000 customers by offering them free dinner. Patrons can bring their monthly client account statements from Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC and get a free entree at the popular 208 Restaurant located on East 58th street.

Although I cant give these unfortunate people back their money in cash, I can pay them back in pasta for their losses The restaurant has lost income from the Madoff scandal. Some of their dual customers that were affected by the Ponzi scheme have not returned. Hopefully offering them free food might bring them back. said Mr. Selimaj. Customers must call 212-750-7766 in advance to make a reservation and their identity will be concealed.

Many of Bernie Madoff’s victims lost upwards of $250,000. Some even lost millions. Retirement funds, money for their kids’ college tuitions. Lives were ruined, families probably torn apart. So you know what’s going to make that better? A plate of (probably mediocre) f’ing veal parmigiana. COME ON ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! I get publicity stunts and all but Jesus, what’s the point? That shit would have to be laced with all kinds of drugs to make me even forget for a second that some prick still owns a multimillion dollar apartment blocks away thanks to my money. My life would probably be a repetitive combination of crying uncontrollably and muttering “That f’ing Jew” over and over again. So yeah, I’m not sure how much that’ll help.

But I’m also not sure how good the veal parm is, so, hey, worth a shot right?