Kitschy street art usually annoys me, but this photo I saw on Buzzfeed is just awesome in every way.

I’ve always wondered what made Mario think he was so special. He was pretty much a schmuck plumber in Brooklyn for his real life and all of a sudden he gets sucked into a toilet or some shit and thinks he’s a superhero. What if a black dude had gotten sucked into a toilet? Would the Princess have been horrified because she’s seen turtles and mushrooms and giant turtles and more f’ing turtles with wings walking around but never saw a black guy? And he’d have certainly been more athletic than an out-of-shape Italian dude so the game probably would have taken about 5 minutes to beat after you just punch a Goomba in the face and Bowser shits his pants (probably after angrily frothing while you yell things in a movie theatre). Also, just curious, but why did they have those power-ups locked into bricks so high off the ground? Who was using those before Mario? Did Bowser put them there just to f with the elfin people of Mushroom Kingdom but had no clue that someone tall enough to break them off would ever come? I have so many unanswered questions.

I don’t think it’s so far-fetched to say that Mushroom Kingdom is pretty much the worst place to be a human ever. It was like Princess Peach and a bunch of midgets. Which is great if you want to make the Mushroom Kingdom Olympic basketball team but doesn’t really embolden your view of humanity or offer you much of a selection on Match.com. Likes: Head with fungus attached. Dislikes: Apartments with high cabinets.

[original image via]