High school is a great time in a man’s life, especially today when the girls are easy and still require about as much romantic effort as I require to pleasure myself (basically just kind of being there and not causing hemorrhaging). But this kid is ruining it for everyone with his unnecessary teenage romantic efforts.
As students streamed out of Allentown’s Central Catholic High School at dismissal today, girls shrieked and giggled when they spotted Emmaus High School junior Zach Heffelfinger. He was holding a dozen roses in each hand.
In between was a huge, hand-made sign: “Adriana Nikles, will you go to the prom with me?”
By the time the object of his affection stepped out of the door, a contingent of grinning students were milling around 17-year-old Zach.
One look at the sign, and all sophomore Adriana could do was throw her arms around Zach’s neck and say “Yes, I will.” Zach’s romantic surprise began earlier in the day when he got Adriana’s friends to plant puzzle pieces around the school fit to form the word “PROM?”
Sixteen-year-old Adriana got the first puzzle piece in Spanish class and found the second one in her locker. Pieces appeared in her classes throughout the day.
“I knew it had to be him,” she said.
This is unbelievable. It’s like providing a plate, salad forks, and seven types of well-aged wine to eat a dinner of Chicken McNuggets and chewed bubblegum. But of course, this one-upping asshole is doing even more next year.
As the couple started discussing plans for the Emmaus prom on May 2, Zach warned, “Wait until the senior prom, it’s going to be even bigger than this, maybe a parade or circus.”
“Oh my God!” said Adriana.
I can’t wait for him to get his stupid little heart broken when she inevitably sucks off the first frat guy she meets. There comes an important crossroads in every man’s life where he can continue to be idealistic about love and want to do amazing things for every woman or come to the logical realization that women typically only deserve a croissantwich and a walk to the bus station.
[source]
Guyism Picks: Today's Best Links
Latest Posts on Guyism
Latest Comments
Loading ...
March 11, 2009
#1
Well, to me, it seems like the people who decide to trash Zach on these blogs are the same people to either just recently got their hearts broken by their significant other, or spend their Friday nights in deep orgasmic masturbation while watching episodes of Full House. Zach embodies everything a man should be to the women he loves (especially after the whole Chris Brown and Rhianna fiasco). His public display of affection should serve as a wake up call for youths all over the U.S. to “step their game up”. I’m just here to say, I got the message Zach, thanks for the heads up.
March 11, 2009
#2
No, I’ve got a great relationship (though masturbating to Full House is a favorite pasttime). I just think he’s a douchebag. You have all your life to have to impress women with grand gestures. Blowing your load as a teenager with some girl you almost definitely won’t be with in five years time is absurd. And the sign of an odd little man.
March 13, 2009
#3
I think that what Zach is doing is awesome!
Just a pity that generally the good woman of today are being successfull and find no need for financial support. Therefore They dont need men for any other reason but to satisfy there sexual desires,So if Adriana is one of those along with zach wil be craig pieter mark and whoever else she fancies.
Men were made out to be such pricks 10 years ago and now everone is doing it.
To those woman out their that do have a spiritual side and do find honusty and faithfullness as serious traits then i apologize, but at this moment there are more player bitches than real woman.
Poor zach will have a lot of heart ache and finally realise that you cant hate the player only hate the game. Lets hope he continues to treat woman special or the few Gentlemen left will all be gone.
To those pricks and bitches i hope you realise that Love is Great and Heartache is a part of that. once you can be strong enough to accept pain as a part of life and Strength creates stronger love you start to enjoy the fruits of LOVE
It is AMAZING
We must start believing in ourselves again instead of following trends.
Marks banged suzzy so i want to try her.
Its weak. we are not just peices of meat.
We need to have some spiritual intellect and actually care for ourselves a lot more. then you will find less diseases and more of whats good in this life.
Zach keep doing what you do man. maybe you will be lucky and meet someone just as special.
So far i am unlucky but keep trying.
April 18, 2009
#4
people need to leave this kid alone. all he was trying to do was ask his girlfriend out romatically to the prom. he didnt ask for everyone to go and make it headline news. he is a true gentleman and more guys need to be taking notes from him, because this is how you win a girls heart.