You see a vacuum and its sucking power and you think, “Man, this seems like a great place to put my penis.” But you would be wrong! Just ask this guy who did it and got 90 days in jail.

A man police caught performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum has been sentenced to 90 days in the Saginaw County Jail.

Jason Leroy Savage must also submit to drug testing.

The 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was sentenced Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure last month.

Police say Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Savage’s attorney, Philip Sturtz, didn’t immediately return a message seeking comment.

I could see why the attorney would avoid comment. “The vacuum was asking for it,” probably doesn’t hold much water after you say it one or two times already.

I’d like to know more specifics about the case. Like was the vacuum drunk? Because I mean, sometimes a vacuum will be like, “Wwvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv” which is vacuum for, “Sure, go ahead, put it in me,” but then OUT OF THE BLUE it’ll be like, “Wwvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrr” which means “No, please stop, this is wrong,” and it’s like COME ON vacuum, this is bullshit, you just wanted it. So yeah, I guess I’m just wondering what the vacuum said on the stand before I officially take a stance on this particular case. Shitty investigative reporting, I’d say.

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