Animals attempting to ejaculate is really amusing to me, so long as it’s not happening above my face. Not sure if this tops the masturbating chihuahua, but this turtle attempting to f a shoe is pretty awesome.

I know I don’t say this often enough, but man turtle dicks look weird. It was like he was a cartoon character asking a question or something. That’s kind of depressing though. If you were a turtle being kept in a home and you weren’t neutered (I haven’t heard a lot about turtle neutering so I’m assuming it’s not possible though, granted, I don’t read about turtle genitals often enough outside of Ninja Turtles fanmade porn), you’d probably be really hard up for companionship. I’m not sure how that ends with you f’ing a shoe, but I can definitely relate.

Honestly there are many times in my life where I’d have been much better off going home and f’ing a shoe, then slowly rolling over and going to sleep like this little guy. Shoes don’t get pregnant. I hope. Though that would be a convenient way to get out of buying more shoes. Hmm.

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