I eat Honey Nut Cheerios quite often, but I can’t say that I’m a huge believer in Apple Cinnamon Cheerios’ latest cross-promotional coupon. It wants not for outside-the-box thinking, but definitely could have been a bit less, uh, awful.

Not to toot my own horn, but I know deliciousness. For example, once I mixed peanut butter with JELLY of all things and made a delicious snack that millions enjoy to this day. I also saw a hunk of ground beef on the floor and was like, “Yo someone needs to grill that shit, slap some cheese on and put it in between processed bits of wheat” and, the next day, cheeseburgers. Now in the midst of all these crazy concoctions, I never thought that my cereal was delicious, but utterly lacking in one secret ingredient…the blood of a teenage girl my own hair! Maybe we can mix in some hobo hair and light the bowl on fire too! Now we’re on an express train ride to the lush fields of flavor country.

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